Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
