he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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