To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
