I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
