Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
