I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
