I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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