We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
