I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize