Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
we're so committed to being not committed
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
