do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize