:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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