11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
