Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
