I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Couch. On fire.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
