There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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