I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I wish you could order shots online.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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