Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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