I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
