Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
