I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
