You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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