I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
