I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
