just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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