He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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