no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
