You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm at about main and main street
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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