and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
