Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
