And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
