3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
