I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
