god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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