You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
