"it" just moved
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
