There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
