But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
