i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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