Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
