You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
