Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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