she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
