How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
