Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
third nipple confirmed
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
