Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
