Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
