I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
