I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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