Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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