So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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