You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
