Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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