you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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