i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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