Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
