where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
