he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
