She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
then he tried to convert me to islam
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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