dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My vagina is officially offended.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
