If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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